Friday, April 29, 2016

Nolan | Week One

Friday, April 29th. The one day I have had on my mind since mid August when I found out I was pregnant with our second baby. Now, here we are on my due date and our little man is already one week old. 
Nolan Richard
born April 22, 2016
@ 5:28pm
8 pounds even and 20 inches long

I cannot believe it has already been a full week since Nolan joined our family, I can't think about how quickly time is already moving or I cry...no joke {thanks hormones}.
Life as a family of four is going great. I am feeling really good, Nolan is an awesome baby and we are all adjusting to this new normal. I can't wait to share more about his birth, his amazing big sister and all the wonderful things that I love so much about my sweet son. 
This first week has been a whirlwind of visitors, a newborn photo shoot, a first doctor's appointment, dirty diapers, late night feedings and getting in the swing of having a newborn again. It's overwhelming and crazy but overall so great. I really can't get over how much I love this little boy. I am one smitten mama.
So far what we know about Nolan is that he hates having his diaper changed {it's the only time he cries}, he eats every 2.5 - 3 hours, he loves to chew on his hands, he only sneezes in multiples {usually 2 or 3 but he's had as many as 5 in a row}, he is notorious for pooping one minute after being changed, makes the craziest dinosaur noises when he's hungry and has the cutest little gas smile I've ever seen.
  
This kiddo has only been nursing for 10-15 minutes at a time and only on one side then he passes out so hard it's nearly impossible to wake him and if I do he has no interest in eating more. He has had plenty of wet and dirty diapers but when we took him to his first appointment on Tuesday {at 4 days old} I thought for sure he was going to be down even more from the 7lb 9oz he was when we left the hospital BUT it turns out my little man is just an efficient little eater as he was up to 7lb 14oz just 2oz away from his birth weight! HOORAY! And yay for efficiency!
As to be expected when you have a brand new baby, every day has highs and lows. I'm tired, emotional and sore but I am madly in love with this baby boy, my daughter and my husband who has been beyond incredible. I am just so grateful for this life and this little family and my heart feels complete. I'm off to snuggle my babies all weekend and attempt to not cry every five minutes. 




Wednesday, April 20, 2016

A Note to Ziggy Boy

Dear Baby Boy,

It was just over 8 months ago that I saw the very faintest of second pink lines on a test and our world was once again turned upside down. As panicked and nervous as I was, I was also so very excited. I had a feeling from that day on that you were the baby boy I have been praying for for a long time. We started our time together in Las Vegas for 4 days celebrating your Auntie Libby's bachelorette party. It wasn't ideal to say the least, but looking back I love so much that you were on that trip with me and it was during that weekend that your nickname, Ziggy, was created.
 It was so tough to keep you a secret for those first couple of months, but once it was safe to tell the world I was so, so, so excited to do so! Me, your daddy and your big sister are so thrilled that you are joining our crazy little family and all of the notes of congrats and excited family and friends made us even more excited!
c/o Sara Jayne Photography
As happy as I am to have you growing in my tummy, you haven't been the nicest to your mom. I haven't felt the best and you've had me worried on multiple occasions for multiple things.  From an ER visit, fluid around your heart and being breech for a few weeks, you've definitely made these past 8 months interesting. The silver lining, though, is that I've had the opportunity to see your sweet little face quite a few times. 
I must say the highlight of the past 8 months was finding out that you were in fact a little BOY! The second I heard the words "It's a Boy" I started crying and I've teared up on multiple occasions since, knowing that I am lucky enough to have a daughter and a son fills me with so much joy and gratitude...plus your mama is a crier {you've been warned}.
 I should also mention that I really hope you love your room! I spent months agonizing over every last detail and spent hours upon hours priming and painting and decorating and making it as perfect as I possibly could. I cannot wait to bring you home and show you this special space that I created just for you.
I'm not going to lie to you Ziggy boy, I am not one of those women who loves being pregnant. I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to have carried two babies and experiencing this miracle is unlike anything I will ever do again. While I may not bask in the process and love all the symptoms and side effects that come with growing a baby, there is so much that I cherish about this time and will {gasp} miss.
This ever expanding belly of mine is one part of both pregnancies that hasn't bothered me one bit. I love seeing this tummy grow as it means the baby inside is growing. Sure, there's an awkward phase towards the start where it looks like I ate one too many doritos, but even that part is kind of fun because I know the truth and the truth is that there is a little lemon sized baby squirming around in there with all the doritos and really, that phase of it is so short.
Hands down the best part, however, is feeling you move inside of this bump. Every pop and wiggle and even the big somersaults and rib jabs provide a feeling of comfort that all is OK in there. It is such a surreal thing to know all those flicks and flutters are YOU, a real live baby! While I know the one I feel inside and the one I will soon meet face-to-face are both you, it sort of feels like there are two different babies. It's like I know you, Ziggy, and no one else does. You are my baby boy and only I truly know all that is going on inside, we have our own little world you and me. It's not always a glamorous one and there is definitely a price that comes with this honor but I will miss this special time when it's only us. 

As much as I love hogging you all to myself and feeling the miracle that you are in my belly, I am ready to share you. I am ready to see your face and kiss you. I am ready for you to meet your daddy and your big sister, your grandparents and all your incredible aunties and uncles. You are one loved little man and I cannot wait to introduce you to everyone and show you off with pride. 

So do your mama a solid and come on out sweet boy.

Monday, April 18, 2016

This Past Week

Last Tuesday, April 12 in the early hours of the morning, God called my grandma to Heaven and she peacefully obeyed. It was Parkinson's Disease that forced her from this world sooner than what should have been but knowing that her soul is freed from a body that hurt for so many years is comforting despite the sadness I am feeling. 

My family is incredibly close and I have always had a very special bond with my grandma, so this news sent a pain through me like I have never felt and a sadness I have never known. My mom and stepdad, aunt and uncle, cousin and brother were all able to arrive in Denver to be by my grandpa's side, grieve together and arrange the details of my grandma's funeral. I, at nearly 38 weeks pregnant, was unable to do so. I saw the first doctor I could get in to and prayed for some miracle chance to be able to join my family - even if for only 24 hours. Unfortunately, because of the progress I have already made, the changes in air pressure when flying and the altitude change in Denver they couldn't sign off on letting me travel (and the airlines wouldn't let me on without a doctor's permission). 

My family tried to make me feel included and keep me up-to-date on all that was happening in Denver but despite the effort there was nothing to be done that came close to actually being there. It was an indescribable loneliness and missing my grandma's funeral and that time spent with my family is something that will likely hurt forever. 

I've said a lot of different prayers over the past week and the first few days was begging God for some kind of clarity or insight on His plan for timing this the way that He did. Very late one of the first nights I was scrolling through Pinterest, staring at the images on my phone with no real connection to what they were, very mindlessly eating up the long hours of the sleepless night and then this stood out to me:
I instantly thought of the last time I talked to my grandma...she asked me if I would send her a picture of the baby after he was born. This cracked me up because of course I would, she didn't need to ask. As hard as this timing has been, I now get to have my grandma with me on the day my son is born and she doesn't have to wait for a picture, instead she gets to be the very first to see his face. Not only that, this little boy will provide joy for myself and my family who are all hurting. It's a new life and a new addition, one who will carry my grandma's spirit. 

The strength and comfort come and go and are quickly replaced with sadness and hurt. I'm grieving the loss of my grandma while feeling excited to meet my baby at any time now. The mix of emotions is incredibly difficult and very confusing. 

I appreciate so much the words of sympathy and comfort you have all shared over the past week. I'm so grateful to have the incredible people in my life that I do and I promise I have read, been touched by and appreciate every last word you have sent my way. 



Friday, April 8, 2016

Let's Make Kim & Kanye Disappear!

We are in the midst of a presidential election and while I typically keep my political opinions relatively to myself, this is one issue I just can no longer keep quiet on. You guys, if we work together, we can make Kim & Kanye disappear. 
I don't know them personally, but based on how they portray themselves via social media, reality TV and interviews....they're kind of the worst. Can we agree they may actually be the two most self involved people on the planet and offer very little to society? Like, hi, maybe donate some of those millions you have piling up instead of bragging about how rich you are and how much stuff you have. Just a thought.

Anyways, this is random, but I got to thinking. How do we make them go away? I'm so sick of their crap. Then it hit me, if no one cared, they'd have to go away. 
So I am proposing that everyone take a minute to unfollow them on all social media outlets. Erase that show from your DVR. Don't click, no matter how tempting, on those E! News and TMZ links about their escapades. If we don't watch or read and the interest goes down, celeb news outlets will go back to reporting on Miley and Lindsay Lohan and way more acceptable crazies. 
It will be a long tough road, you know those two won't go down without a fight but I really think the human race is primarily good and if we all work together and fight for what we truly believe in, lead by example and stick to our guns we really can make a difference and get these two on the D List.





Thursday, April 7, 2016

Hospital Photography

One of the things I really regret about Kenley's birth is not taking more photos in the hospital. Sure, we took a photo of everyone who came to visit and snapped a bunch on our phones, but I really wish we had quality photos from the day that changed our lives forever and definitely more photos of us as a brand new family of three. I've seen some absolutely beautiful hospital shots and it makes me really jealous and kind of sad that I don't have those for Kenley.

With Ziggy boy on the way, I am enlisting one of my best buddies and super star photographer Sara of Sara Jayne Photography to come to the hospital and document our time there. The actual birth itself will still be just me and Jason but I can't wait for Sara to visit us afterwards once we are in recovery and all cleaned up! I am really excited to have these photos and have been looking at inspiration and ideas via Pinterest {obviously}. Here are some of my favorites: 
newborn hospital photography:
hospital | derksen photography blog:
So sweet:
Hospital Photography:
newborn photography - hospital room:
first day hospital photography session  Image by Life Through a Lens Photography  www.ltlphotos.com: great hospital pic.:
photography by rachel thurston:
Now please excuse me while I go apply more makeup, because seeing newborn babies puts me right over the edge these days!

Follow me on Pinterest or check our my Hospital Photography board to see more! 


Did any of you have professional hospital photos taken? Any tips?