Friday, March 25, 2011

A Bride's Soul

These past few weeks have been rough on me. There were a series of events and stresses that caused me to feel really defeated. I've finally started to feel the pressure of running a business while working two other jobs, volunteering for my sorority, and planning a wedding, not to mention the financial piece of all of it. On top of that, J and I have eight parents, ten siblings and a ton of fabulous friends to split our time between. While this is the most exciting time of our lives sometimes it's hard to enjoy it with our hectic schedules.

Wedding planning is a crazy thing. This one day is supposed to be a celebration of love, family and commitment but it so often gets lost on the details. The dress, the flowers, the food....everything has to be perfect and us brides put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make the day THE BEST EVER. I think the thing I've had the hardest time with is once you're engaged all of a sudden everyone has an opinion....where you should have the wedding, when you should have it, who should be invited, who should do the flowers, what kind of flowers, colors, dresses, on and on and on. EVERY ONE HAS AN OPINION, whether you ask for it or not. For me personally, I start to doubt myself or listen to these opinions and think I'm not making the right choices. Or, I get frustrated because people are giving me opinions but not offering help. This, on top of everything else started to ware on me.

This day is about my and J and our lives together. We're starting our own family and as much as we love our family and friends it needs to be about us and our lives together. I know this and I've known this from the start but it's easy to lose sight of it, especially when I hardly get to see the man I'm spending the rest of my life with. Every thing else just finds a way to get in the middle.

While browsing the Barnes & Noble website for a good new book to download to my Nook I noticed Chicken Soup for the Bride's Soul. It was like a sign, that's exactly what I needed....some chicken soup for the bride part of my soul. (Next I'll have to read Chicken Soup for a Business Owner's Soul and Chicken Soup for a Poor Person's Soul)

The introduction got to me right away, one part says:

"As the bride-to-be, planning your wedding can be bittersweet. What is ultimately the happiest time in your life can also be the most stressful. Much like an emotional roller coaster ride, the anticipation of starting a new life runs headlong into the chaos of wedding details, family feuds and financial stress.
Chicken Soup for the Bride's Soul celebrates you--the bride--from the moment you meet your beloved to the day you marry him. But more importantly, the stories in this dynamic collection bring to light the true meaning of love and commitment. This book will warm your heart and melt away your stress and fears as you prepare for a lifelong commitment with your future husband. The captivating, inspiring and humorous true tales will not only comfort you during this eventful time, but show you that beyond the wedding details lies a powerful message about marriage."

I highly recommend this book to all of you brides-to-be. It's so heartwarming to read these amazing stories about love and commitment and weddings and families and relationships. It's exactly what I needed to cheer me up and refocus on celebrating myself, my soon-to-be hubby and our amazing relationship.

Then, last night, I got exactly what I needed. Last week I told the story of how J and I are huge Arizona basketball fans. (read it HERE) For those of you following March Madness, you know that Arizona pounded the #1 seed, Duke, last night and advanced to the Elite 8!!!!!!!!!!! It was an UNBELIEVABLE game, but even more unbelievable was the amazing night J and I had. We were SO wound up, there was no way either one of us could go to sleep. So against our better judgment we stayed up late, blasted music, celebrated the Wildcat's victory and spent some much needed quality time together. The whole night was really incredible, and it's hard to explain it, but it felt like the good old days when we had just started dating. We were just laying in the middle of our guest room floor, holding hands and loving the moment. It really reminded me that all this hard work both in business and in wedding planning is for us, just me and J, and that we have something really special. It was amazing, and I feel so much better.

Good job boys! Good Luck tomorrow!!!


Nicole-Lynn said...

I hear ya girl! It can definitely be hard at times, and you're absolutely right everyone does have an opinion! It's your attitude and how you deal with the situation that determines how you feel though; I can totally relate and I'm struggling with that myself.

I'm so happy for you and your fiance -- having a nice, enjoyable date night was just what you two needed! It's those simple nights like that which make you stop and realize what you have is just so special. :)

Ashley said...

My little sis is reading this book and she loves it! I wish I would have found it when I was planning and then I definitely would have lent it to my girl that is getting married is so easy to get wound up in the details and the pressure of it being perfect. Believe me when I tell you, the most PERFECT part of the day is marrying your best friend. It doesn't matter if EVERYTHING else is wrong, I promise on that day, you won't care. =)

Sounds like the two of you had an amazing night reconnecting!

Katie said...

I agree with Ashley! Not getting caught up in all the details is soo hard but try not to. Sounds like you are getting there..cheer up buttercup! :)

Miss K said...

great post, i'm going to have to check that book out asap. i have 6 weeks left and it's beginning to get to me.....

Jessica said...

I wish I had read that Chicken Soup for the Soul book when I was engaged!

Don't even talk to me about March Madness! My bracket is blown to BITS. Hahaha

Bre said...

I thought of you guys when I saw that win last night, congrats! I totally understand what you are going through with the wedding. I think the fact that we aren't getting much financial help makes it easier, in a sense, to plan because we don't have to take advice and our parents don't get to dictate the guest list. The money part of it is actually justifying our decisions and people are just standing by and letting us make all of the decisions. Hang in there! From everything I have read here, you are doing all the right things and are going to have a gorgeous wedding!

Heidi said...

Ugh I hear ya about the opinions! I know people are trying to help, but it gets overwhelming! I'll have to check out that book!

MOMO said...


steph c said...

That's wonderful that you and J were able to carve out some "you" time. I totally understand how hard it can get, planning a wedding and working a million jobs and hardly getting to see your other half.. it wears on you. It's so nice to hear that you guys aren't letting it get to you and that you know what's important!

Also.. I think I just might pick up that book! Sounds great and like just what i need.

Jenna E said...

My J and I have been fighting a lot lately. We never used to fight and it's all about money. Money for the Wedding and the 4 weddings we need to fly to in the next year.

We need to just make time for ourselves and truly enjoy this experience than sweat the small stuff. Everyone tells me this but it just becomes so consuming!!!

kalyanavaran matrimony said...

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