Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Baby Talk :: Marriage After Baby {+ 2 Years!}

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Today marks TWO YEARS since the day I married the love of my life.
www.sara-jayne.com
I thought since today is our anniversary it made sense to share what our marriage has been like since having our baby almost a year ago.

My greatest fear when I was pregnant was what would happen to me and Jason after the baby was born {that along with all the other irrational fears you experience when you're with child}. Having a baby is a MAJOR life change and I knew it was inevitable that both me and Jason would change, our relationship would change, our priorities would change and pretty much our whole world would change. 

Fast forward to the first few weeks of Kenley's life and I was thinking that I was crazy for ever thinking this would be hard, of course having a brand new baby came with it's challenges, but our relationship was better than ever. Jason was incredible. As you all know, I had a bit of a rough recovery and Jason totally picked up the slack. He took such good care of me and such good care of the house so I could spend 100% of the little energy that I had on taking care of our new roommate. 
Fast forward a few more months and I was back to normal {read: I could sit without a doughnut and both sides of my face were fully functioning}, I was back at work and our daily routine was in full swing. This was how our life was going to be for the foreseeable future and I felt completely disconnected from my husband. Between working full-time, taking care of the baby, trying to keep the house clean and having a little bit of fun once and a while there was NO Kristin & Jason time. Sure, we'd be home together and maybe watch TV together. But more often than not, I was watching a show and Jason was on the computer. We were in the same room, exchanging small talk but not really connecting.  Most nights I would go to bed before Jason because I had to be up early to get myself and the baby ready for our days. To top it off I was so irritable  Everything Jason was doing was driving me crazy. Little dumb things like mixing his Chipotle for what seemed like 10 minutes before taking a bite drove me absolutely batty. I tried SO hard not to nit-pick or nag but sometimes I just couldn't hold it in. I was so irritated most of the time that I didn't even want to be around him and I'm sure Jason was less than thrilled to hang out with me when he couldn't do anything right in my eyes.

Since those earlier days, we've found more of a rhythm and I think overall we make a good team. We both have our responsibilities we take care of and the rest we split up. Our day-to-day life is wonderful and thanks to our incredible parents we are able to spend time away from the baby and have some grown up fun. With so many fun plans we have found a lot of our baby-free time is spent with friends, which is wonderful, but it means we have to work that much harder to spend time just the two of us. And in truth, we definitely don't spend enough time with only each other.

We have made some changes, however, to try and maximize our Kristin & Jason time. For example, we try really hard to eat dinner at the table so we can spend that quality time as a family. For the most part, we go to bed at the same time so we can spend some pre-slumber snuggle minutes together. We've also made an effort to spend quality time together after Kenley goes to bed - that usually means snuggling up on the couch and watching a show or a movie but it's a major improvement from being in the same room but not together.

It's not, however, always easy. A marriage takes work and a marriage with a baby takes extra work. Jason and I both have to put in effort to make sure the other is taken care of and feels loved. With so much of our love and attention going towards Kenley it's easy to sort of forget to give each other "hello" kisses or compliment one another or thank each other for the great job we're doing. It's so easy to fall in to your routine and let days or weeks or months go by and not even realize you haven't spent quality time together.

When it's all said and done, the key is effort.

We aren't perfect by any means, not even close. We have our good days and our bad days. But like I said, we're a team. We're both committed to our relationship and hold it as a top priority with our daughter and I think as long as that doesn't change, we'll be good.


and before I go....


To my husband,

Thank you for two amazing years. Thank you for all of the laughs, the support, the inside jokes and fun memories. Thank you for Kenley. Thank you for being the rock of our family and for taking such good care of your girls.

Our wedding day was the best day of my life and I can't imagine another day will ever compare. Not only was it the most fun I've ever had but I got to leave the party with you by my side FOREVER. 

I love you the most the most the most and can't wait to see what the next 80 million years bring to our lives. 

Love, 
Your Toot

31 comments:

Jess Beer said...

Things definitely change when a little one arrives, and I love how honest you are about that. Happy Anniversary!

PS you forgot to put the linkup on the bottom :)

The Bennetts said...

Happy Anniversary!!

K said...

Happy Anniversary! I'm wondering the same thing about my husband and I, but he's already being great! Sounds like you guys really figured out your routine!

Meghan said...

Happy Anniversary! Seems like just yesterday you were coming back from your honeymoon.

Nikki said...

Happy Anniversary!

P!nky said...

Awww i love your video!!!

This is such an honest and great post, thanks for sharing!

Happy Anniversary!!!

xoxo

Ashley said...

Happy Anniversary!!

Crazy how much a baby can affect your relationship! I'm glad you guys have found your groove :) I totally hear you on the 'mixing Chipotle for 10 minutes', every.little.thing. like that drove me nuts too!

Dawn said...

Happy Anniversary to an amazing couple!!

Erin LFF said...

LOVE this post girl! Love that you keep it real and that you and Jason are so awesome together, despite any new challenges that come your way. You all are an awesome family- Happy Anniversary!!! :)

Jill Esteban said...

Congratulations! Happy 2 years! I love your wedding video and it sounds like you guys have this marriage/life/parenting thing worked out! =) It's all about effort like you said! ;)Hope you have a great day!

WinterBenson said...

Happy Anniversary!

Dixie Bell Designs said...

Happy Anniversary!! :)

Kelsey said...

Happy Anniversary! I love your honesty and I still love love watching your wedding vide.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carolyn said...

YAY! :) Happy anniversary to two of my favorites! Love you both!

ajs {of MN} said...

Happy Anniversary!! I always love a look back at your wedding pics and that video-- the BEST wedding pic/wedding video i have ever seen, makes we want to get married all over again! i love the talk about marriage after baby, it does change for the good and sometimes bad... mixing his chipotle??? hahaha i SWEAR to GOSHDARNIT aaron touches EVERY SINGLE CHIP in the bag before he takes the one out that he is going to eat... hahaha i totally get this!!! haha great and fun post, i hope you have a fun anny date planned. :)

Schnelle said...

Happy Anniversary!!!
I can honestly say that Aubrey has made me love my husband more and seeing how much he loves her and cares for her melts my heart BUT on the flip side there are a lot of changes that a new baby brings to a marriage. I can totally relate to a lot of what you are talking about here. We still haven't had a night out, just the 2 of us and we're 9 months in. We end up on the computers next to each other barely talking, it's so easy to get sucked into routine plus sometimes you just want some "me" time. It's a learn as you go process. I'm just hoping that once we move we will be more settled and hopefully make some changes.

GirlieAndGlamorous ♥ said...

I know how you feel I had our daughter one month after our 1 year wedding anniversary!

Michelle Levine said...

Happy anniversary ! Thanks for sharing ;)

Kelly B. said...

cracking up at the chipotle and at Andrea's comment.. is it a bad sign if we have no kids and I still want to kill Matt 50% of the time for doing stupid shit like that? for scraping EVERY LAST DROP of sauce off his plate some nights.. scrape--scrape--scrape. hahaha. Regardless, knowing that is half the battle. Happy anniversary!

Sarah Goodman said...

i love a good husband and marriage story :)
recovery after baby SUCKS. i am so thankful for isaiah and great men to help out. i love life after crue. this was a great post!
happy anniversary you love birds!

Kristin said...

I love this! Very real!

Bre said...

Happy belated anniversary!! I remember reading the crap out of your blog while I was planning my wedding as we got married the same year. Here's to many more happy years for you guys!

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