Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Baby Talk :: Marriage After Baby {+ 2 Years!}

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Today marks TWO YEARS since the day I married the love of my life.
Part of me feels like we have been married forever and the other part feels like our wedding was just yesterday - I know that really doesn't make any sense, but it's how I feel.

I thought since today is our anniversary it made sense to share what our marriage has been like since having our baby almost a year ago.

My greatest fear when I was pregnant was what would happen to me and Jason after the baby was born {that along with all the other irrational fears you have when you're with child}. Having a baby is a MAJOR life change and I knew it was inevitable that both me and Jason would change, our relationship would change, our priorities would change and pretty much our whole world would change. 

Fast forward to the first few weeks of Kenley's life and I was thinking that I was crazy for ever thinking this would be hard, of course having a brand new baby came with it's challenges, but our relationship was better than ever. Jason was incredible. As you all know, I had a bit of a rough recovery and Jason totally picked up the slack. He took such good care of me and such good care of the house so I could spend 100% of the little energy that I had on taking care of our new roommate. 

Fast forward a few more months and I was back to normal {read: I could sit without a doughnut and both sides of my face were fully functioning}, I was back at work and our daily routine was in full swing. This was how our life was going to be for the foreseeable future and I felt completely disconnected from my husband. Between working full-time, taking care of the baby, trying to keep the house clean and having a little bit of fun once and a while there was NO Kristin & Jason time. Sure, we'd be home together and maybe watch TV together. But more often than not, I was watching a show and Jason was on the computer. We were in the same room, exchanging small talk but not really connecting.  Most nights I would go to bed before Jason because I had to be up early to get myself and the baby ready for our days. To top it off I was so irritable  Everything Jason was doing was driving me crazy. Just little dumb things like mixing his Chipotle for what seemed like 10 minutes before taking a bite. I tried SO hard not to nit-pick or nag but sometimes I just couldn't hold it in. I was so irritated most of the time that I didn't even want to be around him and I'm sure Jason was less than thrilled to hang out with me when he couldn't do anything right in my eyes.

Since those earlier days, we've found our rhythm. I think we make a fantastic team. We both have our responsibilities we take care of and the rest we split up. Our day-to-day life is wonderful and thanks to our incredible parents we are able to spend time away from the baby and have some grown up fun. With so many fun plans we have found a lot of our baby-free time is spent with friends, which is wonderful, but it means we have to work that much harder to spend time just the two of us. And in truth, we definitely don't spend enough time with only each other.

We have made some changes, however, to try and maximize our Kristin & Jason time. For example, we try really hard to eat dinner at the table so we can spend that quality time as a family. For the most part, we go to bed at the same time so we can spend some pre-slumber snuggle minutes together. We've also made an effort to spend quality time together after Kenley goes to bed - that usually means snuggling up on the couch and watching a show or a movie but it's a major improvement from being in the same room but not together.

It's not, however, always easy. A marriage takes work and a marriage with a baby takes extra work. Jason and I both have to put in effort to make sure the other is taken care of and feels loved. With so much of our love and attention going towards Kenley it's easy to sort of forget to give each other "hello" kisses or compliment one another or thank each other for the great job we're doing. It's so easy to fall in to your routine and let days or weeks or months go by and not even realize you haven't spent quality time together.

When it's all said and done, the key is effort.

We aren't perfect by any means, not even close. We have our good days and our bad days. But like I said, we're a team. We're both committed to our relationship and hold it as a top priority with our daughter and I think as long as that doesn't change, we'll be good.

and before I go....

To my husband,

Thank you for two amazing years. Thank you for all of the laughs, the support, the inside jokes and fun memories. Thank you for Kenley. Thank you for being the rock of our family and for taking such good care of your girls.

Our wedding day was the best day of my life and I can't imagine another day will ever compare. Not only was it the most fun I've ever had but I got to leave the party with you by my side FOREVER. 

I love you the most the most the most and can't wait to see what the next 80 million years bring to our lives. 

Your Toot

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