Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Infertility Awareness Week!

It's Tuesday and it's time for....

Here's what you do:
1. Write a post about ANYTHING baby {or pregnancy} related.
2. Add my button to your post.
3. Link your post with the link-up tool found at the end of all of my posts.

Today I am honored and excited to have Lauren {better known as LO to me and the MN Blogger posse}from our crazy ever after here to share her story with infertility. I know more couples than I care to count who have dealt with or are currently dealing with infertility in some capacity. I love and admire so much that LO is is not quietly fighting her battle. She is sharing it all! And while I'm sure it's difficult to do, she is using her experience to educate others and also encourage other couples dealing with infertility to speak up! It's OK to share your journey and your disappointment and your heartache because it's only then that you are able to find support from others who know exactly how you are feeling. LO has an incredible outlook and incredible attitude and shares all her trials and tribulations with a humor that always has me chuckling out loud. She really is an inspiration and I am so honored that she is sharing her story with all of you today!  


Hello to all you hot mamas out there. Or hot mamas in the making. I'm Lauren, and I'd like to consider myself one of the latter. I've been trying ever so hard to become a mom for over two years now. And it's just not working. There have been countless doctor appointments. Shots. Sterile cups of sperm. Inseminations. Empty bank accounts. My period arriving like clockwork. More shots (maybe tequila, maybe not). Tears. Screaming. Sadness. Anger. Oh yeah, and hope. I still have that. I honestly don't think I'd be able to share my story if I didn't have hope.
That's Jesse and I the first time we saw each other on our wedding day. I love that man so much. Little did I know exactly a year after this picture was taken, on our one year anniversary, that Jesse and I would be sitting in the office of a reproductive endocrinologist. It would be confirmed that our dreams of having babies wouldn't be realized as easily as we'd desired. Don't worry, we still celebrated our one year anniversary with greasy, delicious burgers at the 5-8 Club after the appointment. I went through a flood of emotions throughout our second year of marriage. I was angry a lot. My friendships changed. People I loved so dearly began to go on to do life in a way I wanted to do life. I was jealous. Being around friends with easily conceived babies was virtually impossible. I felt misunderstood, almost like people thought I was overreacting. I heard every cliche statement imaginable. Maybe it's stress!? You could adopt! Go on a vacation and then you'll get pregnant! Of course I wanted to be gracious, and field their well meant advice with a smile. It got hard, and so I just avoided people like a plague.
The first year after we were diagnosed we did seven medicated cycles, with five of those being IUIs. I like to refer to this year as the time we went buck wild for our baby. What's an IUI, you ask? It's this super romantic procedure where you basically have a threesome with your nurse. Wait, what? The nurse is in the room so she can shoot Jesse's sperm through my cervix with this long catheter thingy. It's definitely NOT romantic, and definitely NOT how one plans to create life. After each failed cycle, I was losing more and more hope. Our doctors wanted us to stop with the IUIs and jump to IVF, something we didn't, and still don't have the money for. IVF can cost anywhere from $13,000-$30,000, but the success rates for a couple with our diagnosis is more than 60%. We ain't poor, but we definitely don't have the dollar bills for that right now. And yes, it sucks that money is basically the one thing getting in the way of me becoming a mom and Jesse a dad.

Finally by November of this last year, we'd had enough, and decided to take a break from treatments. I was weighing in a whopping 20 pounds heavier (can we call that baby weight?) and the hormones I shot myself up with made me super crazy. So crazy that I am convinced Jesse was searching for a one way plane ticket to Canada, and his coo coo loco wife was not invited. I honestly felt robbed of those first precious years of marriage with my husband, and that's why for the last several months we've been trying our best to reclaim our marriage. To remove the infertility blinders, and embrace and cherish what we have until we can more aggressively pursue treatments. We're choosing joy right now. I strive to live my life everyday so that when I do have children, they would be proud of how cool their mom and dad were before they were born. Look at those cool future parents down there, just hanging out in the liquor store. Holla!
I never thought I could be so passionate about something I hate so much. I never realized I could feel a deep connection with women who were experiencing the same thing I was. I discovered an entire blogging community with the same dreams and desires. We support one another. We vent on the tough days. We cry when a cycle fails, and we rejoice when one of us finally sees those two precious, pink lines. The women I have met through this journey have been my silver lining. They make infertility suck just a little less.
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. I am so honored that Kristin, a fellow Minnesota blogger, is opening up her blog to me today. She's letting me share my version of Baby Talk. This year's theme is resolve to know more. Kristin is doing that by allowing the voice of an infertile to be heard on her blog. Thank you so, so much for listening. If you or someone you know is struggling, please don't hesitate to reach out. You are not alone. You are loved. And you matter.


I want to be sure to mention that while LO and Jesse are enjoying their marriage and "choosing joy" they have also created a fantastic business to help them become the wonderful parents I know they are destined to be. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE check out Jbaby Rags on Etsy to shop for adorbale burp cloths and bibs handmade by LO & Jesse! All of the profits go to help them get their miracle! 

be sure to visit my friend:


P!nky said...

Dear Lo, I'm so sorry for the hardships you are having to deal with. It makes me so sad to read about loving couples wanting a baby so badly. I will pray for you and your baby to be :)!

Keep that hope!

Dawn said...

I don't know how it is that I come away from every infertility story I've read of Lo's crying and laughing at the same time. LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU, LADY! #keepthehope

Kelly B. said...

I think it's quite possible I'll be more excited/emotional on the day you finally get your happy ending (and tell me, wee!) than my own. Love you. :)

Bridget said...

I feel hope and joy just reading Lo's story...every single time!!!

Carolyn said...

Lo is one of my very favorite blog friends, and every time I read a post that she writes about infertility, I'm in awe of her strength. The way she can write about such a heartbreaking and hard topic with a sense of humor and such hope - I love that! I can't wait for the day when Lo gets to announce that she's a mommy!

Jessica said...

Infertility is so, so sad! And makes me so angry - I just hate it.I know so many sweet ladies who would make such great mamas if it weren't for infertility. Hoping that Lo gets a chance to overcome infertility and become a mama one day soon!

Melissa @ i carry your heart said...

Lo nails it again! Love you, friend!

Ashley @ Life on the Parsons Farm said...

unfortunately I know LO's story too well, as I have been dealing with Infertility for nearly 5 years!! It sucks there is no way around it. Its hard when dealing with this diagnosis to hear of the "great news" of another couple who just started trying for a child a mere month or two ago. I know that I will cherish my bio baby incredibly more (when/if that happens) due to all that we have gone through to get him/her. I know that there is a plan and a time for it to happen I just have to have HOPE and trust that God knows what He is doing. Thank you for sharing this!


Kayla MKOY said...

She wrote that SO beautifully... :) I just love that this blogging community brings together so many women with similar lives!

ajs {of MN} said...

Lo's story is truly inspiriting and i admire the ability that she has for keeping a TIGHT grip on Hope!

Kassi Mortensen said...

My heart goes out to Lo and her family!!! Sending happy thoughts their way! Thanks for hosting girl!

Leah D said...

I can't help but tear up at Lo's words of hope!