This is one of those sit at the keyboard and let it all out kind of posts, so I apologize if it does not flow or isn't grammatically correct. I assure you I haven't been drinking, just need a way and a place to clear my head.
I've recently had one of those days moms joke about, ya know the ones where all you want to do is lock yourself in the bathroom with a pint of gelato and cry/ignore everyone and everything.
It was a perfect storm of chaos and frustration that has been building up for a while.
For one, I have a two-year-old. Kenley is a great kid and I am so proud of how well-behaved and self-sufficient she is. However, she is two. She needs to be entertained, she knows what she wants, and she doesn't yet understand that she doesn't always get everything she wants right when she wants it. She is also very much testing the waters to see what she can and cannot get away with. I love her SO MUCH! And love spending time with her SO MUCH! But sometimes being the mama of a toddler is taxing and tiring!
Additionally, this two year old has a lot of stuff. And I have a lot of stuff. And Jason has a lot of stuff. Our townhouse is not all that big and it seems that our stuff just keeps multiplying and expanding and taking over. I find myself getting easily overwhelmed by the mess and the clutter.
On top of that I am working multiple "mini-jobs" as I like to call them. I love what I am doing and love the mix of out-of-house-work and working-from-home but I don't have a schedule. Every week is different, in fact every day is different. Combine that with the fact that Jason is in sales and has a very varying schedule along with relying on my busy family for her care when Jason and I are both working away from home makes me go a little nutty. I feel like I am doing all of these things and not doing any of them well.
I have also lost all motivation to eat healthy & work out. I have not only been fluctuating between the same dang 5 pounds since June which is uber discouraging but I am totally an emotional eater so I've been making poor choices to cope with my inability to get my shit together. On top of that I have broken BOTH of the FitBit bands that came with my FitBit and my stupid Tory Burch one doesn't clasp right so it always falls off and therefore I am too afraid to wear it. I'm not making time to work out because I am just not motivated to do it. Meal planning has pretty much been out the window and therefore scrounging and eating random crap has become the norm around here.
All my goals, plans, ideas, etc. seem to just be slipping because I am too overwhelmed by the big picture and just shut down as a result.
As I read this back, I realize I sound like I am both complaining and making a ton of excuses, but that certainly is not my intent. I LOVE my life. This is me just finally hitting that breaking point and realizing that I need to do something to make this lifestyle work for me and my family so that I don't get so easily stressed and overwhelmed. Like I mentioned a couple weeks ago, I am bad at baby steps, but figuring out how to implement some baby steps and every day habits to work towards an overall goal of not being a basket case just needs to happen.
side note: I added the ecards after writing the post and found all of them in one of my Pinterest boards. If you have a "Funnies" board where you keep all the funny stuff you come across, go look at it after a rough day! It totally helps!
I will leave you with this because it has absolutely NOTHING to do with this post or my life but made me laugh out loud for like 5 straight minutes.