Wednesday, April 20, 2016

A Note to Ziggy Boy

Dear Baby Boy,

It was just over 8 months ago that I saw the very faintest of second pink lines on a test and our world was once again turned upside down. As panicked and nervous as I was, I was also so very excited. I had a feeling from that day on that you were the baby boy I have been praying for for a long time. We started our time together in Las Vegas for 4 days celebrating your Auntie Libby's bachelorette party. It wasn't ideal to say the least, but looking back I love so much that you were on that trip with me and it was during that weekend that your nickname, Ziggy, was created.
 It was so tough to keep you a secret for those first couple of months, but once it was safe to tell the world I was so, so, so excited to do so! Me, your daddy and your big sister are so thrilled that you are joining our crazy little family and all of the notes of congrats and excited family and friends made us even more excited!
c/o Sara Jayne Photography
As happy as I am to have you growing in my tummy, you haven't been the nicest to your mom. I haven't felt the best and you've had me worried on multiple occasions for multiple things.  From an ER visit, fluid around your heart and being breech for a few weeks, you've definitely made these past 8 months interesting. The silver lining, though, is that I've had the opportunity to see your sweet little face quite a few times. 
I must say the highlight of the past 8 months was finding out that you were in fact a little BOY! The second I heard the words "It's a Boy" I started crying and I've teared up on multiple occasions since, knowing that I am lucky enough to have a daughter and a son fills me with so much joy and your mama is a crier {you've been warned}.
 I should also mention that I really hope you love your room! I spent months agonizing over every last detail and spent hours upon hours priming and painting and decorating and making it as perfect as I possibly could. I cannot wait to bring you home and show you this special space that I created just for you.
I'm not going to lie to you Ziggy boy, I am not one of those women who loves being pregnant. I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to have carried two babies and experiencing this miracle is unlike anything I will ever do again. While I may not bask in the process and love all the symptoms and side effects that come with growing a baby, there is so much that I cherish about this time and will {gasp} miss.
This ever expanding belly of mine is one part of both pregnancies that hasn't bothered me one bit. I love seeing this tummy grow as it means the baby inside is growing. Sure, there's an awkward phase towards the start where it looks like I ate one too many doritos, but even that part is kind of fun because I know the truth and the truth is that there is a little lemon sized baby squirming around in there with all the doritos and really, that phase of it is so short.
Hands down the best part, however, is feeling you move inside of this bump. Every pop and wiggle and even the big somersaults and rib jabs provide a feeling of comfort that all is OK in there. It is such a surreal thing to know all those flicks and flutters are YOU, a real live baby! While I know the one I feel inside and the one I will soon meet face-to-face are both you, it sort of feels like there are two different babies. It's like I know you, Ziggy, and no one else does. You are my baby boy and only I truly know all that is going on inside, we have our own little world you and me. It's not always a glamorous one and there is definitely a price that comes with this honor but I will miss this special time when it's only us. 

As much as I love hogging you all to myself and feeling the miracle that you are in my belly, I am ready to share you. I am ready to see your face and kiss you. I am ready for you to meet your daddy and your big sister, your grandparents and all your incredible aunties and uncles. You are one loved little man and I cannot wait to introduce you to everyone and show you off with pride. 

So do your mama a solid and come on out sweet boy.